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Short Golf Breaks  -

Or a tale of utmost woe from a golfing widow


My husband is golf mad, though my parents describe  him as "plain mad" because nearly all of his spare time is taken up by trotting off with his chums on what he calls, "short golf breaks", though my term for his continued absenses bashing a small ball about on some grass and then regaling lots the other, similar idiots is far too fruity to be printed here.

My husband has tried a great many hobbies in his time and disgarded them all after a while of spending a small fortune on each of them, the only cost effective one being squash which he rejected virtually overnight because it was, in his own words, "too much like bloody hard work."

 I truly believed that golf would go the same way, and initially I welcomed the fact that he was getting some much needed exercise, even though this latest hobby of his was costing the equivalent of the GDP of an emerging country. I decided that it was good for him but failed to take into account his tenacity when he got his teeth into something he couldn't quite win, his dedication to being the best all the time.

And so, as his golf became better he started to enter tournaments, if that's the correct word for competitions in golf, all of which necessitated his going away for short periods which he called "breaks."

"Breaks from what?" I asked, naively thinking that he needed more time away from the office, until he explained that he had to partake of more practice against more competent opponents to better his game so that he could whup the competition on his local course.

My arguement was that whilst he was carousing with his mates in the 19th Hole I was all alone, a state which I was tempted to remedy by taking a lover, but you know what? He didn't bat an eyelid when I mentioned that, merely kissed me on the cheek, picked up his golf bag and whistled as he went out the door.

"Back on Sunday evening Darling," he shouted as he drove off.

"It could be worse," I reasoned, "he could have another woman."


Last update: 04.07.2016